The First Story of Madness
by Mastershake178
Summary: PERFECT HAIR FOREVER! That's the story... filled with so much insanity,a person with sanity should not read it, but please do! Rated M for Strong language, Drug Use, Gore and Blood, and Uncle Grandpa doing nasty stuff. YAY! I'm back! HUZZAHH!
1. Beware of Coifio

PERFECT HAIR FOREVER- The first story of Madness

WARNING!!!! Perfect Hair Forever is not for those with sanity.

CHAPTER 1: Beware of Coifio.

(ON A SPACE SHIP SOMEWHERE, AN OLD GUY WITH RAINBOW LIKE HAIR WAS PLOTTING SOMETHING.)

Coifio: Super deadly robot!!! Come to me.

(A small robot, in the style of those little Gundems flew up to him.)  
Model Robot: Yes?  
Coifio: We need to stop Gerald... my enemi...enem...anim...enemy. ODERWISE, I will send out... RADIOACTIVE HAIR!!!!

(A bunch of radio active hair bounces up near the robot.)  
Model Robot: Yes sir, I shall get Catman. (The Robot starts to transform slowly.)  
Coifio:AWWWW!!! Come on!!! This sucks... come on...

(After 5 minutes, the robot finally transformed into a rocket.)  
Coffio: Finally.

Model Robot: Initializing 5 minute launch.

Coifio: Son of a bitch!! This sucks!!!(Coifio hops away, the robot then explodes.)

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(At Catman's litterbox house...)

(Catman is licking himself. Coifio then materializes into the living room, holding out a large communicator watch, which is

highly unnessecary.)

Coifio:(Talking into communicator.) Catman, do you read me?  
Catman: Uhhhh... yeah.. I totally read you. (Continues licking self.)  
Coifio: PREPARE THE ULTA..UTA..

(The robot lands in the living room, by busting through the ceiling.)  
Model Robot: May I do the honor?

Coifio: Shut up, douche bag.

Model Robot: But...

Coifio: I said shut up, douche bag. Now... PREPARE THE ULTIMATE LASER DEVICE OF DOOM!!!

(The laser device busts through the ceiling and lands on Coifio.)  
Coifio:CRAAPPPP!!!!

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(At a weird looking house, with the top slanted...)  
(Uncle Grandfather was enjoying a banana.)  
Uncle Grandfather: Ohhhh... yes this is good... shanananana.

(The door knocks.)

Uncle Grandfather: Come in...

( A police man comes in.)  
Policeman: Grandfather?

Uncle Grandfather: Yes?  
Policeman: You're under arrest.

Uncle Grandfather: Ahhh... yes... come... bun...

(Suddenly a giant hotdog bun appeared and chased the policeman around. After about 40 seconds of chasing, the hot dog ate the policeman.)  
Uncle Grandfather: HAHAHAHA!!! What idiot... Trashman.

(A large trashcan hops into the room.)  
Trashman: Yes?  
Uncle Grandfather: Go... get me... some hamburgers... my bald nephew is about to be killed.

Trashman: Really.

Uncle Grandfather: Yes... really. (Trashman leaves.) MEGA POWERS!!! (Uncle Grandfather levitates toward the roof, but is knocked back by the ceiling.) Shanananana. Brenda... I have back problem...

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(Meanwhile, at the base of Tuna Mountain...)

Gerald: We must climb Tuna Mountain.

Norman: YEAH!!!! WHAT'S UP WITH THAT!!?

Hot Dog: Do the LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!!!

(Suddenly, the area becomes dark, and Rod the Anime God appears.)  
Rod: Hey, man... want to smoke a joint?  
Gerald: Who are you?  
Rod: I'm Rod... the anime god.

Twisty: Rod the Anime God?  
Rod: That's right... Rod the Anime God. Now... you want to smoke this thing... because I sorta need the money...

Gerald: Uhhh... no... I have a quest.. to get perfect hair forever.

Rod: That's right... you're bald...very bald.

Gerald: Don't remind me.

Rod: Do you want to smoke this?  
Norman: SURE!!! (Starts smoking the joint.)  
Rod: Give me $40.

(Suddenly, a giant radioactive stereo smashes Rod.)

Gerald: That was strange.

Twisty: What isn't?  
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(At the CONVIENIENT STORE...OF DEATH!!!!) 

(Catman is licking himself.)

(Coifio hops up to the counter.)  
Coifio: Hello, Catman.

Catman: Hey... what do you want, man?

Coifio: We need to buy wadio...wadio...wedio...weta...plutonium induced materials, so I may stop

my enema...enima...anim...eneam...enemy.

Catman: Uhhhhhhhh...suree... over there, aisle 5.

Coifio: Thank you...

(Hops out of view, and buys some hazerdous materials.)  
(Hops back to the counter.)  
Coifio: Here you go. (Suddenly, a car crashes into Coifio.)

(Coifio flies out of view.)  
(The giant hotdog bun, mentioned earlier in this story, appears behind the wheel.)

Coifio: Why did you do that... ass hole!!! MODEL ROBOT!!!

(The Model Robot busts through the ceiling.)  
Model Robot: What's up, baby?  
Coifio: Destroy this bun!!  
Model Robot: Transforming into a laser, baby.

(Model Robot slowly transforms into a laser.)  
Coifio: COME ON!!!! Why does this take forever!!! This sucks.

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(At Uncle Grandfather's house...) 

Uncle Grandfather: I have a feeling, a crossover is about to commence...

(Shows Uncle Grandfather with a vaccum cleaner, and a cake, trying to make a pornography.)  
Uncle Grandfather: But nevermind that. Come on baby... (Tries to make the vaccum cleaner hump the cake.) Shanananana... You like that...

bun-nu-nu-nu...

(Tries to make the cake hump the vaccum cleaner.)  
Uncle Grandfather: Yes... "R" rated...  
(The telephone rings...)  
(After about 5 seconds, Uncle Grandfather answers the phone.)  
Uncle Grandfather: Herro?  
(Coifio is on the other line.)  
Coifio: HEY MAN!!! HAHAHA!!!  
Uncle Grandfather: Ohhhh... God... it's you.

Coifio: YEAH!!!!!

Uncle Grandfather: What do you want?  
Coifio: I just wanted to tell you that I'm making a trap for your son.

Uncle Grandfather: No...no... you retard... I don't have a son.

Coifio: HAHAHAHA... wait, you're serious?  
Uncle Grandfather: I'am, you retard. What trap?  
Coifio: I'm going to send you're... guy... to another dimension.

Uncle Grandfather: Gerald is my nephew... my bald nephew... bald-a-nam...bald-a-nam-a-nim-nom.

Coifio: Really?  
Uncle Grandfather: Really.. now shut up. (Hangs up.)

Coifio: That was interesting.

(Coifio was on his ship, while the aeronautic cat works on the dimension portal.)

Aeronautic Cat: MEOW!!

Coifio: Yes aeraa...earo...aura...space cat, we will drop it on the earth.

(Suddenly, Rod the Anime God appears on deck.)  
Rod: Hey man...

Coifio: What do you want?  
Rod: I'm just...chillin'... ya know?

Coifio: No... not really.

Rod: Pssstt... want to buy a computer... that was used..

(Pulls out a Sinclair.)  
Coifio: No... not really...

Rod: Come on, it holds up to 2 megabytes.

Coifio: No...

Rod: Please... I need the money to pay off... something...

Coifio: I don't care HOW much money you need... I'm not paying... retard.

(Rod sneezes, launching the ship.)

Rod: SORRY!!!

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(Meanwhile, at Gerald's quest...)

Gerald: We have been walking for days, and the top of Tuna Mountain is still far away.

Hot Dog: LALALALALALA!!!

Gerald: I have no idea what you said.

Norman: WHOO HOO!!!!!  
Hot Dog: La la la la...

Norman: LAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

(Suddenly Coifio's ship lands on Norman.)  
Norman: DAMN IT!!!!

(Coifio hops out.)  
Coifio: Herro, young Gerald... my aneme...anemas...emenias...amm... enemy.

Gerald: You are Coifio...

Coifio: Of course I am... we MET.. dumb ass!!

Gerald: Oh.. yes.. the motorcycle competion.

Coifio: A Choppah duea.

Gerald: What?

Coifio: A Choppah duea.

Gerald: What?

Coifio: A Choppah duea.

Gerald: What?

Coifio: Fine... lets go with what you said. SPACE CAT!!! NOW!!! (The Aeronautic cat lifts up the large portal, which is a rip of a Stargate. The Aeronautic cat drops the portal on Gerald, and his party.) HAHAHAHA!!!!  
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(At Uncle Grandfather's house...)  
Uncle Grandfather: Hmmmm, I think Coifio did it... Gerald will now be in horrible danger... awww he'll be okay.

(Tries to continue the cheesy pornography.)

Uncle Grandfather: Yeah... do that thing. (Uncle Grandfather turns aroud, only to relise that he forgot to get the camera.) Crap...

(Runs off to get the video camera.)

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(Meanwhile... Animal Guy was driving in the car, with all the animals bunched up inside.)  
Animal Guy: Come on, animals, we need to get to Grandfather's house, and tell him I lost the hamburger necklace... and my hand.

Monkey: Hey, if you lost a hand, how can you drive.  
Animal Guy: OH MY STARS!!! YOU'RE RIGHT!!!  
(Crashes into a shark.)  
Giraffe: Great... now I'm hungry.

Monkey: Me too...

Animal Guy: STOP IT ANIMALS!!! It was a miracle enough to get that car out of that ditch.

Bear: How did you do that anyway?  
Animal Guy: I don't know, it just happened.

Giraffe: Come on, man, I'm hungry!!!!!  
Animal Guy: Great...

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The First chapter... review!!!!!!!

(And read the warning up there... this story may cause you to lose sanity.)


	2. WTF?

CHAPTER 2- WTF?

(LAST TIME WE LEFT GERALD, HE HAD JUST GOT TRANSPORTED TO ANOTHER DIMENSION!!!!)

Coifio: HAHAHAHA!!! What a dumbass...

Model Robot: That is excellent, baby!  
Coifio: Now, I must call Catman and tell him he did a good job supplying me with

the materials. (Calls Catman on his wrist communicator.) Gweetings, Catman.

Catman: Uhhh... hey..

Coifio: Thanks---

Model Robot: Hey, man do you even know where you sent Gerald?  
Coifio: Shut up, Model douche bag.

Model Robot: Come on baby, don't be like that.

Coifio: No... Model douche bag!!!

Model Robot: What if Gerald finds some more friends and comes back?

Coifio: Fine... we will go there, but I will need my ship...

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(At Uncle Grandfather's house...)  
(Uncle Grandfather was still trying to make a porn...)  
Uncle Grandfather: Come on, COME ON!! Just f(BLEEP) it... make love to the cake, vaccum...

(Tries to make the vaccum cleaner hump the cake.)  
(Uncle Grandfather runs over to the video camera.)  
Uncle Grandfather: Come on, frost his bag, FROST HIS BAG!!!!

(An explosion comes from the direction of the corny porn scene.)  
Uncle Grandfather: That sucked. In... bun...destroy...something...

(The giant hot dog bun comes in and eats Uncle Grandfather's table.)  
Uncle Grandfather: I need...that...give it back...

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(At the portal...)

Coifio: Pwepare...pep...pwap...pwea... get the portal weady...

(The giant ship, somehow, amazingly fits through.)

Coifio: Now, it's my turn. (Model Robot, Catman, and Coifio go inside the portal.)  
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(At an unknown planet...)  
Coifio: Where are we?  
Model Robot: How should I know, baby?  
Coifio: SHUT UP, Model Dumbass.

(Hops inside the ship.)

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(Inside the ship...)  
Coifio: HAHAHA!!!!! My beautiful ship...

Model Robot: Yeah, commencing lift-off baby...

(The ship starts to lift off, but immediatly drops onto the ground.)  
Coifio: Which one of F(ing!) morons forgot to fuel the ship...

Model Robot: I knew I was forgetting something.

Coifio: OH!!! Why don't you just turn into an A-bomb and blow yourself up.

Model Robot: Okay, but why, baby? Why?

Coifio: BECAUSE YOU TURN INTO AN A-BOMB I SAY!!!!  
Model Robot: Ohhh, okay...

(Turns into an A-bomb, and blows up...)  
(Everyone is charred.)

Coifio: He'll be back.

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CHAPTER 2 IS COMPLETE THIS IS A SONIC CROSSOVER, SO YOU KNOW CRAZY  
JUNK WILL HAPPEN!!

Review...review...review...


	3. Being Drunk Should Be Good

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HEY!!! I'm still alive! Give me five!!! I simply took a very loooonnggg vacation, anyway, here's chapter 3- Being Drunk Should Be Good..also, I'm no longer using script format.

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Chapter 3- Being Drunk Should Be Good

(At Dr.Weird's lab... wait, what?)  
Dr.Weird: GENTLEMEN!!! BEHOLD!!!! PERFECT HAIR FOREVER!!!  
(A large T.V. screen comes down showing Uncle Grandfather.)  
Steve: That's a big T.V.

Dr.Weird: SILENCE!!! (Fires a shotgun at Steve.)

(Space Ghost suddenly appears.)  
Space Ghost: Hello. (Dr.Weird then shoots Space Ghost.)  
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Meanwhile with Cofio...

"We will find Gerald, and we will destwoy him!!" Coifio shouted.  
"Do you even know where to find him?" Catman asked.

"Let me explain to you where we are goin'." Coifio announced, as a guitar appeared out of nowhere, then Coifio started playing it off key, and singing as equally bad, as random objects appeared in the background, such as the animal guy's hand grasping the Necklace of Hamburger, and a witch head.

"We are goin' to a wonderful land, where we will find Gerald and shit! We will find him somewhere!!" Coifio sang. "We will destroy him, for he is on a quest!" Coifio continued, then stopped singing and playing a guitar. "We will most likely find him at a rival westwaunt!" Coifio said.

"Dude, what the (EEF!!) are you talking about?" Catman asked. "How the hell should I know?" Coifio responded. Coifio then slammed the guitar against Catman's head. "Suck on that, you (EEF)er!" Coifio said.

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Meanwhile with Uncle Grandfather...

Uncle Grandfather was on the computer. "Oh no.." he would repeat. "This is some hardcore porn..." Uncle Grandfather said. Uncle Grandfather then reached beneath the table and grabbed...A BANANA!!! Uncle Grandfather then proceeded to eat the banana, while saying. "Ba na na na na na na..." Uncle Grandfather. "Screw this, I'm going out... I need my Grandfather sized condom." Uncle Grandfather said, pulling a nearby lever. Upon pulling said lever, a huge condom, bigger the Uncle Grandfather came down, and slowly slipped on Uncle Grandfather's entire body.  
The condom was so big that Uncle Grandfather could hardly move. "Let's go." Uncle Grandfather said, slowly hobbeling towards the door. As soon as Uncle Grandfather reached the door, he fell down. "Son of a bitch..." Uncle Grandfather shouted. Suddenly, the Animal Guy's hand busted through the door.

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Meanwhile, with Gerald and friends...

"This is all very confusing..." Gerald announced to his friends.

"WHAT!! I THINK THIS IS VERY CONFUSING!!!" Norman shouted, in his usual loud voice.

Terry suddenly went up to Norman, and turned into Twisty. "We need to kill this tree." Twisty said, pulling out a knife and stabbing Norman.

"Guys, we need to figure out where we are." Gerald said.

"Your right, we need to see well." Terry said, before turning into Twisty again. "In order to do that, we need to get rid of this tree." Twisty said, pulling out a magnum, and shooting the comedy tree. "DAMN IT!!" Norman shouted.

The next thing the cheesy anime characters knew, they were surrounded by robots. "DAMN IT...AGAIN!!!" Norman shouted.

"Prepare to be terminated!" One of the robots said. Suddenly, a large motorcycle with hotdogs for rims came by, and ran over the robots. The driver was none other then Rod the Anime god.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Rod asked.

"What are you doing he..re..I'm...dip...shi..." the scene started to wear off, as the screen showed a dancing clown. Suddenly, it cuts to infront of a TV, with Gerald on it.

"Hello, I'm Gerald Baldingbaldabalding. I spent an entire season walking around on a pointless quest and got millions of dollars... and you should smoke marijuana...it's healthy for your lungs, isn't that right, Mr. High Hobo, the high hobo." Gerald said, as the camera panned over to a dead hobo. Suddenly, it showed Gerald with out any pupils. "BRING ME ALL YOUR BEER!! I NEED IT TO DEVOUR THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT!!" Gerald shouted. Suddenly a missile hit the TV, making it explode. "Man, I've seen some freaked up commercials, but DAMN!" Catman announced, holding his trademark gatteling gun.  
"I agwee with you, Catman." Coifio said, bouncing up and down on a nearby mattress.

"Damn, this whole world is (EEF)ed up!" Catman said.  
Model Robot, who was fully repaired hopped in. "HEY BABY!! What's up?" Model Robot asked.  
"Model Wobot! I command you to turn into a terry cloth robe, for I need something to wrap up in, when I get out of the pool." Coifio commanded.  
Model Robot suddenly started to slowly transform.

"Aw, COME ON!!!! Why do you take forever!!!" Coifio shouted, as Model Robot continued his slow transformation. "Dis sucks!!" Coifio shouted.

It suddenly cuts to another TV, with Gerald on it again, sitting near a fireplace.

"Would you like to travel with a tree, a tornado, and a hotdog..." Gerald said, before it cuts to Gerald with no pupils.

"I WANT TO EAT PUPPY DOGS IN YOUR HOME!!! YOU MIGHT AS WELL DIE!! I WILL EAT MY ASS!!!" Gerald shouted.  
The camera pans out to reveal Uncle Grandfather, still in his outrageously large condom watching TV. "Hmmm... I don't know what to do... I just want some hardcore (EEF)ing!!" Uncle Grandfather shouted.

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Yes, I know, the part with Gerald was incredibly FREAKY!! But, I had to put it in cuz I'm crazy, and this chapter is also proof I'm still alive.

Please, REVIEW OR I WILL VIEW THAT FREAKY COMMERCIAL ON YOUR TV!!!!

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